I love hummus (and LOOK I’m not alone). I could eat it all the time. I could spread it on all my sandwiches. I could roll it up in all the slices of deli turkey in my fridge. I could dip crackers, pita, whatever in it all day long. Some people are obsessed with avocado (and for good reason); I die for hummus.

I like to play with my hummus though. I mean sure I love a good garlic, tahini or Greek, but mixing it up is the name of my game. I LOVE this caramalized onion hummus. I love to throw kalamata olives into my hummus. My faaayyvorite hummus to pick up in the dairy aisle is Sabra’s Chipotle Hummus. Chipotle hummus!? That’s like… Mexican food and hummus. Huh?

So as I made my routine hummus last week, I decided to change it up a bit and toss in some salsa. Because I figured why not. I’m a dip, you’re a dip… And it’s a huge winner. Whatdya know. Insert obligatory line about America the melting pot here.

Salsa Hummus

Yield: about 1 1/2 c
Total Time: 15 mins
Active Time: 10 mins

1-15oz can chickpeas
1 clove garlic
2 tbsp well-stirred tahini
juice of 1/2 lemon
2 tbsp hot salsa
1/4 tsp cumin
Olive oil

In a food processor, combine all ingredients except the olive oil. Run the processor on low until a paste-like consistency is formed. Add olive oil with the processor running, just until the consistency of the hummus has smoothed out. Continue to process until the hummus is smooth and creamy, about 5 minutes. Serve immediately or cover and refrigerate.

To serve: create a well in the center of the hummus. Fill with salsa and top with feta cheese.

So, let’s talk about putting fresh rosemary on our ice cream. It’s Monday. It’s raining. What else do we have to talk about? Probably nothing. Unless you want to talk about how this new Gatsby movie is coming out soon or, speaking of Leonadro DeCaprio, how I used to think Leo played Jimmy Darmody on Boardwalk Empire because I never watch tv with my glasses on? Oh you would rather talk about that? Dammit, no.

We’re talking about fresh rosemary and ice cream here today. Well, gelato actually. This chocolate hazelnut gelato. Gelato, ice cream.. what is the difference anyway? I used to think that egg yolks were the prerequisite for gelato, but apparently no. That’s wrong. It’s amazing what we can learn from Wikipedia, including that the Medici’s used to eat gelato back in the day in Florence. I wonder if they ever put rosemary on it.

I hope they did, for their sake. Because this chocolate-hazelnut-rosemary-whipped cream combo is honestly to die for. It’s the kind of dessert that some people who ate it are still talking about to this day (yea, I’ve been holding out on sharing this for a couple weeks now, mah b). The rosemary is really special. It works with chocolate in a way that I never would have thought about, until it was set in front of me one night at Jaleo and I haven’t looked back since. I highly suggest that you give this sundae a try. Trust me, you’ll want to talk about rosemary and chocolate too once you do.

Chocolate Hazelnut Gelato Sundaes with Fresh Rosemary & Almond Whipped Cream

Assembly for each sundae:

2 scoops Chocolate Hazelnut Gelato (recipe follows)
almond whipped cream (recipe follows)
~1 tsp fresh rosemary leaves
crushed toasted hazelnuts
1 spring fresh rosemary to garnish

Assemble the sundae by sprinkling 2 scoops of chocolate hazelnut gelato with fresh rosemary and hazelnuts. Add a dollop of almond whipped cream in the desired amount. Garnish with rosemary spring and serve.

Chocolate Hazelnut Gelato

Adapted from Giada

2 c whole milk
1 c heavy cream
1/2 c sugar, plus 1/4 cup
4 egg yolks
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 c chocolate-hazelnut spread (I highly recommend Justin’s or to reduce the sugar by half if you use Nutella)

In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the milk, cream, and 1/2 cup sugar. Cook until the sugar is dissolved, about 5 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a medium bowl whip the egg yolks with the remaining sugar using an electric mixer until the eggs have become thick and pale yellow and the sugar has dissovled, about 4 minutes. Temper the egg mixture by pouring 1/2 cup of the warm milk and cream mixture into the egg mixture and stirring. Continue to add milk mixture to the eggs until you’ve mixed in about half. Add the egg mixture back into the saucepan. Cook over very low heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture becomes thick enough to coat the back of a wooden spoon, about 7 to 10 minutes.

Place a strainer over a medium bowl and pour the warm custard mixture through the strainer. Stir in the vanilla and hazelnut spread until dissolved. Chill the mixture completely (1-2 hours) before pouring into an ice cream maker and follow manufacturer’s instructions to freeze.

Almond Whipped Cream

1 c heavy cream
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp almond extract

Using an electric mixer, whip all ingredients together until the cream thickens and stiff peaks form. Unused portion can be stored up to 10 hours in the refrigerator.

I’m looking for a place at which I can acquire an attention span? Where do I get that? Craigslist? Amazon? Is there a black market for this? Somewhere I can also acquire a new liver as well? One stop shopping? Hey, I went to college (aka I was drunk for 4 years) and I’m just planning ahead here.

I mean, ok. I guess it’s not that I don’t have one exactly (…omg check out these TIGHTS!). It’s just that it doesn’t work anymore. It’s broken. Oooh! Maybe I can exchange my old one. Maybe it was defective. I hope the warranty is at least 30 years, otherwise, phoof.

Hey! THIS CHICKEN MAN! It’s um, delicious. Rhubarb is like, SO IN RIGHT NOW. It’s so on trend. Actually, that’s not even funny, because in 2013 there ARE food trends. That’s a thing now (ahem, cauliflower pizza crust, ahem, smoothies). Dear blogging world, I am sorry I claimed to be on trend. I’m so not. It’s 2013 and I’m still wearing my mom jeans and poodle hair from the late ’80′s. Ugh.

SEE WHAT I MEAN!!! Every time I try to talk about this chicken, my brain fragments. But please, don’t let me talk you into thinking it wasn’t tasty, easy and totally worthwhile. Fancy pants chicken with it’s fancy pants compote. I think it’s just outta my league.

Balsamic Chicken with Strawberry Rhubarb Compote

Yield: 2-4 (depending, see below) servings
Total Time: 1 hr 30 minutes
Active Time: 30 minutes

For the chicken:
1/4 c balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp EVOO
1 tbsp sugar
salt & pepper
2-4 chicken breasts, pounded to about 1/2″

For the compote:
1 stalk rhubarb
1 tbsp sugar
1/8 tsp chili powder
1/8 tsp garlic powder
pinch salt
1/4 c water
1/2 tsp lemon juice
3/4 c strawberries, chopped

In a medium bowl, whisk together balsamic vinegar, EVOO, salt, pepper, and 1 tbsp sugar. Add the chicken and turn to coat. Cover and refrigerate to marinate for at least 1 hour, turning occasionally.

In a small saucepan, add rhubarb, 1 tbsp sugar, chili powder, garlic powder, water and a pinch of salt and stir to combine. Turn the heat to medium, bring to a boil and cook for about 3 minutes, or until rhubarb is soft. Transfer to a small bowl or container. Stir in lemon juice and strawberries and cover. Allow the flavors to combine for about 1 hour.

After the chicken has marinated, heat a grill pan (or, if you’re lucky enough to have one, a charcoal or gas grill) over medium-high heat. Cook chicken for about 5-10 minutes on each side, or until cooked through.

Plate each piece, top with compote and serve. I think this would go beautifully with steamed asparagus OR asparagus disguised as a crunchy green salad.

Second.. This little salad dresses up a dinner in a big way. It sounds fancy. It looks fancy. It drinks tea with it’s pinky in the air. It’s the accessory that kicks your little sundress up a notch for a night on the town (I think saying things like “night on the town” automatically make me uncool; I should probably stop that.). It’s the little umbrella that makes your pina colada caaaute. It’s the cucumber slices that make your water sing. You get it.

I’ve said this before. I know that you don’t need a recipe to make yourself a salad. I’m sure you’re just as good as I am at chopping up a few snap peas, peppers, tomatoes, carrots, etc, tossing it with balsamic and digging on it for lunch. But sometimes you need something a little extra. Sometimes I do! I never would have thought to shave my asparagus if it weren’t for the mention of this salad in Bon Appetit mag this month. And if, at any point this spring, you’re planning a homemade romantic dinner date, a dinner with a friend you haven’t seen in a while, or even just a TGIF dinner with the person whose face you look at every morning and every night before you go to sleep (This could be your face or someone else’s; I’m sure it’s a nice face), this first course will impress, with minimal effort on your part. It’s the perk of a seasonal, fresh restaurant menu, without the heels or the tie or the bill.

Would you like some fresh cracked pepper on your salad?

Shaved Asparagus and Gruyere Salad

Yield: 2 servings (easily double for 4)
Active Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes

5-7 stalks of asparagus
1-2 tsp fresh lemon juice
1-2 tsp extra virgin olive oil
pinch of salt
fresh cracked black pepper
~1 oz gruyere cheese

Wash asparagus, cut off the ends and use a vegetable peeler to shave thin strips by holding the end and peeling down to the head. (I found the easiest way for me to do this is to peel twice on a side, then rotate the stalk, etc.) Place the shaves in a medium bowl. Toss with a  pinch of salt and lemon juice and olive oil to taste.

Divide the asparagus shavings between two plates. Grate Gruyere using the vegetable peeler to create long thin shavings and place on top of the asparagus. Grind fresh pepper over the salads and serve.

First of all, I just want you all to know that I sacrificed my life for this salsa:

I mean that! I totally sliced off a small piece of my thumb, threw it in the trash, and kept calm and carried on. Obviously I’m going to spare you the details, because my goal here is to make you want to eat this and not cringe and lose your appetite, but yea that happened. It was a thing that occurred last week.

I wish I could blame my blogging absence this week on it, but that would be a huge lie. Actually, what happened is I forgot my memory stick in my camera when I left the apartment EVERY. DAY. Yikes. #earlyonsetalzheimers anyone?

I also want to let you know, that while I loved every minute of this salsa, I think the tartness overwhelmed the fish for SOME people that I live with. If you find it tart, go light on what you add to your fish. Don’t overload the plate like I did. The fish will cut the tartness of course, but not if your plate equation is 5xfish = salsa. You could also cut smaller pieces of kumquat, this will more evenly distribute the other ingredients that do cut the tartness a bit. But honestly, I loved this recipe. It’s sooooo easy. Healthy. Tasty. Do it.

It was totally worth the tip of my thumb.

Teriyaki Tilapia with Fresh Kumquat Salsa

Yield: 2 servings (easily duplicated)
Active Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 15-20 minutes

2 (4-6 oz) Tilapia fillets
1/4 c teriyaki sauce (I used Soy Vay, but I also make my own from time to time and I like great recipe)
Fresh Kumquat Salsa, to taste (recipe follows)

Preheat the oven to 375°.

Coat a cast iron pan with cooking spray or butter.

Rinse fish and pat dry; place on the cast iron pan. Coat with teriyaki sauce. Bake for 8-12 minutes, or until the fish flakes when tested with a fork.

Top with Fresh Kumquat Salsa and serve.

Fresh Kumquat Salsa

Recipe from Simply Recipes

Yield: 2 1/2 c salsa
Total time: 1 hr, 10 mins
Active time: 10 mins

2 c chopped cleaned and thinly sliced kumquats
1/2 c chopped red onion
1/4 c chopped fresh cilantro
3 Tbsp olive oil
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
Dash of cayenne pepper
Pinch of kosher salt

Combine all ingredients. Add more or less red pepper and cayenne to desired heat. Let sit for 1 hour for the flavors to more fully blend.

Dogs are such funny animals; so simple, yet so complex. I have one. He’s wonderful. He’s cute, energetic, enthusiastic and smart.

No really, he’s very smart. He knows way too much. He knows that barking is a more effective method of begging for a treat than whining (we live in an apartment; I care about my neighbors). He knows if he stands in front of the couch whining someone will eventually get up and he can steal their seat (really, he does this). He comes running to the kitchen to stand riiiiiight under my feet at the sound of cleaner being sprayed (potential for crumbs to fall, of course!). He sees a suitcase and knows he must stand right.in.front.of the door or right at our feet, lest we might completely forget to bring him. He gets a medication two times per day, which is administered orally with a teaspoon of peanut butter; you better believe he will let me know if I forget.

But he’s also very quirky. When I swiffer, he runs to his bowl and stress eats (this is like clockwork to the point where I can instruct anyone who is caring for him while we are away that if he doesn’t eat, to try pretending to sweep the floor). He has an anxiety disorder, which causes him to compulsively lick…. everything and anything. When he rides in the car, he insists upon riding so that his back paws are on the back seat and the front half of his body is across the center console, where all the action is. Not so safe for him as he should have learned by now considering his ability to expect peanut butter twice a day. He always wants to smell Chapstick, until he gets too close and has a sneezing fit. My dog has an arch nemesis. There is another little JRT in our neighborhood that got a little fresh with him once (not that my dog is the friendliest in the pack or anything) and he will not forget that.

Sometimes I wonder if he doesn’t do these dopey things to throw us off the trail of his intelligence. I mean, would it really be that much of a stretch to consider whether dogs are of a superior intelligence than we think? What if they’re actually so smart that they’ve gotten together and come up with a plan to Dupe us into waiting on them hand over foot? Think about it. My dog sleeps all day. He’s fed. He’s warm. He’s played with and loved so much. What if he’s tricking us all? Are dogs, gasp, actually smarter than we are? Now THAT’S a conspiracy theory worth subscribing to.

What does this have to do with orange sorbet? You mean, you can’t tell? I bet your dog could figure that out.

Creamy Tart Orange Sorbet

Adapted from Joy of Cooking
Total Time: 45 minutes
Active Time: 10 minutes
Yield: 2 2/3 c

2 c fresh orange juice, divided (make sure to strain the juice to remove any pulp BEFORE using)
3/4 c sugar
zest of 1 medium orange
1 tbsp lemon juice

Combine 1/2 c fresh orange juice, sugar, and orange zest in a small sauce pan. Heat over medium heat, just until the sugar is dissolved (2-3 minutes). Do not boil. Cover, and allow to steep for 15 minutes.

In a medium bowl, combine lemon juice and remaining orange juice. Stir in sugared juice to combine. Chill in the refrigerator until cool. Process according to your ice cream makers instructions.

Yikes. Procrastination is an art and I can always find the snooze button.

Oh man and another thing! I can never get enough pictures of dinner before I want to eat it. I don’t understand how people can have a photo shoot with their dinner and get such great pictures. I always fail.

To make up for it, let’s think about some things that are just awesome and ignore that snow outside.

Burgers in the windowwwww!

1) Pancakes. All kinds of pancakes. A bounty of gluten free pancakes. Peanut butter pancakes (with jelly!). And pancakes waffles that will definitely give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-acckkkk.

2) Things that are MINI. Mini pigs. Mini burgers. Mini flowers. Minnie Mouse.

3) Glitter.

4) Adult milkshakes. Drool. More drooling.

5) The following recipe (DUH!)

Orange Feta Turkey Burkers

Servings: 3-4
Active Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 20 minutes

~1.5 lbs ground turkey (I was actually working with 1.3 lbs)
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1-2 tsp Sriracha
zest of 1 orange
1 tsp freshly squeezed orange juice
1/4 cup feta cheese crumbles
1 large egg
burger buns
fresh cilantro

In a large bowl, combine turkey, salt, pepper, garlic powder, Sriracha, orange zest & juice, feta and egg. Use your hands and mix well, breaking up any clumps of meat or feta and working all ingredients together. Form meat mixture into patties by taking a handful of meat, shaping it into a circle and pressing down to form a disc. (I formed 5 small burgers, but you could adjust this based on your tastes. Keep in mind larger burgers will cook longer.) Set the patties on a plate.

Heat a grill pan (or a real grill if the weather agrees with you!) over medium-high heat. Spray or grease pan. Place the burgers in the pan and cook 5 minutes on each side, or until fully cooked through (no pink!).

Serve burgers hot in the buns (of course!) and garnish with cilantro.

Anyway, I am mostly just thanking the universe that I was tagged by Lauren at Fancy Nonsense  to write a post on 5 things you may not know about me because now I can talk about myself without even sharing a recipe. (YES!) In the spirit of keeping this a food blog, I’ve decided to keep them food related, which is proving to be quite the challenge as I think I’ve already been pretty open here about my… ahem.. enthusiasm for things that are edible.

Here goes…

1) I’m really not picky, buuuut.. I absolutely love Reese’s eggs, but I cannot stand Reese’s cups. Something about the shape or the texture. Maybe it’s ratio of chocolate to peanut butter. Who knows. (This is an important thing to know about me.) I hate it when chocolate and raspberry get together. I think white chocolate looks and tastes like chalk, but I will use it in baking. I keep thin mints in the freezer and only use Heinz ketchup. Cheesecake looks and tastes like warmed up cream cheese to me and I’ll put sriracha on pretty much anything I eat. I hate fake sugar, but I will always enjoy a good diet Dr. Pepper.

2) I secretly miss living in Philadelphia so much because it’s the best food city in the world. Ok, I have very little to compare it to and that’s a bold statement, but the creativity that comes out of the neighborhood restaurants in that little city is just something that is hard to come by in my new locale. McCrossen’s and Alla Spina, I’m talking to YOU.

3) I secretly wish that I went to culinary school. Instead I got a History degree.. ouch. Sure I do like working 9-5 and having my weekends to relax, but I’m always a little jeally of the cheftestants on Top Chef.

4) Some pretty common things I’ve never made: a bundt cake (mostly because I never owned a pan), a cheesecake (see item #1), or a coffee cake.

5) I could live in a tub of cream cheese frosting.

And because it’s pretty much spring. As the sun sank down around 8 PM yesterday, I couldn’t even be mad about the hour of sleep I lost. I cannot. cannot. cannot. wait to always leave the house with out a jacket and to lose the socks for a while.

Sun, if I were any good at writing poems, I would write you one.

Triple Citrus Ricotta Cookies

Adapted from Giada DeLaurentis Lemon Ricotta Cookies Yield: ~3 dozen cookies
Total Time: 2 hours 20 mins
Active Time: 15 minutes

2 1/2 c ap flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 stick unsalted butter, softened
2 c sugar
2 eggs
1 (15-ounce) container whole milk ricotta cheese
6 tbsp of citrus juices, divided*
~ 1 tbsp zest of the mixed citrus used for juices
1/2 tbsp poppy seeds
1 1/2 c powdered sugar

*I used 2 tbsp orange juice, 2 tbsp lemon juice and 2 tbsp lime juice. Combined them in a bowl and then measured out 3 tbsp of the mix when needed, thus I had 1 tbsp of each in the cookies and in the glaze. You will need 1 lemon, 1 lime and 1/2 an orange for this. Also of note: I used fresh squeezed orange juice, not sure the effect that carton juice would have.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a medium sized bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt with a until combined. Set aside.

In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar, until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, continuously beating the mixture. Once eggs are combined, add ricotta cheese, 3 tbsp of mixed citrus juice, and the zest. Beat just until combined.

Using a spatula, stir in the dry mix and poppy seeds. Dough will be very moist, more similar to a batter.

Spoon ~ 1 tbsp drops of dough onto lined cookie sheets. Dough will spread when baking, so make sure to leave room. (These are a flat cookie, not raised.)

Bake for 15 minutes (or until golden brown at the edges). Remove from the oven and allow to cool on the cookie sheets for ~20 minutes before glazing.

While cookies are cooling, whisk together the remaining 3 tbsp of citrus juice and 1 1/2 c powdered sugar, to create a glaze. Once cookies are cooled, spoon ~1/2 tsp of glaze onto each cookie and spread to coat.

Glaze will need to cool approx 2 hrs before storing.

Roll out of bed WHENEVA you want (although for me this tends to be around 9 AM anyway, because I physically cannot sleep any later). Put on some leggings and soft fuzzy socks (dudes too) and a soft tee shirt. Brush your teeth, wash your face. Make coffee. Take in the aroma. Drink coffee, in a loose ball on a comfy couch with your hands curled around the cup. Watch something terrible on TLC. Eat. Pancakes.

Sometimes it’s really just a necessity to have pancakes. But I suggest you lose the mix.

Because this is it. This is the pancake recipe. You’ll never need/want another one. It’s easy. It’s quick. It contains butter.

Top with chocolate chips, bananas, coconut, apples, WHATEVA you want (it’s your weekend after all; no boss telling you what to put in your pancakes here). Put your feet up. Lick the syrup off your fork. You deserve it.

Perfect & Simple Weekend Pancakes

Recipe from All Recipes
Total Time: 20 minutes
Active Time: 20 minutes

1 1/2 c ap flour
3 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp sugar
1 1/4 c milk
1 egg
3 tbsp butter, melted

In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Create a well in the center of the dry ingredients and add milk, egg, and butter. Stir together with whisk until just combined (using the least amount of strokes with give you those fluffy pancakes you want; lumps are a requirement). Batter will be lumpy. Run a once over with a spatula, scraping the bowl and turning into the batter to make sure you have gotten all the dry ingredients from the bottom.

Heat a griddle or a frying pan over medium heat. Spray with cooking spray or grease with butter. Pour or scoop aprox. 1/4 c of batter for each pancake onto the heated surface (now would be the time to add chocolate chips, or any other topping you want). Brown on both sides, cooking the first side until bubbles can be seen and the pancake appears stiff. Cook the second side for ~1 minute more.

Serve warm.